Coming To an End

It has been awhile since I originally decided to leave school, go back home to be with family and finish my schooling there. So much has happen from then to now. One of the major incidents that I encountered was breaking my foot. This definitely put me in a stump and made me over look the decisions I have made for my future. Then it hit me, I AM BEING FUCKEN STUPID! If money was one of the reasons why I am leaving UNCSA then I should stay. There’s no other school is Southern California that is cheaper than this school and no other school would let me enter as a senior. So over all I would be spending more money because I would have to repeat one or more years if I transferred to another school. Yea that’s not going to happen! So I decided I might as well return for my senior year and finish my schooling at UNCSA, the way I originally intended when I arrived as a freshman.

My parents want me to ship my entire belongings home but I don’t want to. I did my research and it would be a lot cheaper if I paid for storage and kept all my stuff there till next fall because during the summer I always split the cost with two other friends anyways. However my parents said “that the future can’t be determined, what will l do if I end up not being able to come back?” Personally I usually think just like them, very realistic with everything, but not this time, especially during my circumstances. I am telling myself that I will be back 110% healthy and ready to dance again, and by leaving my belongings in storage will give me the motivation I need to recover and come back. I believe if I send my entire stuff home, first of all I know I am going to get very comfortable home and not want to come back, therefore that’s why I have to leave my stuff here. That’s another reason for me to come back and finish. My parents aren't happy with my decision but oh well, they have to trust in me and that have faith in my life choices.

Starting Thanksgiving break I will be packing up my room. It’s going to be hard but this is what I need to do, not only for my injuries but for my mind as well. Everyone needs a little break in their life at some point or another. 

Tuesday 11/19/13

It’s been one month and one day.

Second doctor’s appointment.

Results?

No surgery!!

And.

Two more weeks of crutches.

Then weight with boot on. 

Injuries Part 2:

In my last post I talked about how my first two injuries changed the way I looked at dance. This week I will be talking about the first encounter I faced during the beginning of my new injury.

I broke and sprained my right foot on October 21, 2013. The cafeteria was having an 80’s them with music and decorations and of course as a dancer I started to dance, even though the doctors told me I was not allowed to. Then there I go being a fool and I go for a giant leap and I then land horribly wrong. I immediately knew what was wrong. I had broken the same bone on my left foot when I was younger and it felt like the same pain as before. I walked out of the cafeteria as calmly as I could so no one would know that I got injured. I live in building A of the dorms, which is not far from the commons at all and when I got to my room my foot had already swollen with a huge bump on the side.

Two Hours Later!

                               

I have to say I am quite proud of myself for not crying at all this time. I know that it is my fault and I took full responsibility. Accepting my mistakes was the easy part, accepting the fact that I won’t always be able to do things on my own and sometimes I have to ask for help was the hard part. I have never been the kind of person to ask for help if I know I can do it or if I know I can figure it out. I feel as if I am bothering people and I just don’t like to feel helpless. But I realized that being able to ask for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s actually a sign of strength. Even though I've gotten better about asking for help, I still tend to try to do things on my own. It’s only natural of me.

Here's some more photos from my recovery process :)

 

                                                         

         
















         

Injuries:

People always say having injuries changes the way you view life and it is so true. However this didn’t really affect me the first two times I sprained my left ankle. I actually approached the situation horribly wrong. I allowed my depression take over my life. I started eating more and I got really lazy, which didn’t help with the Holidays coming up. Still to this day I am trying to shed off those couple of extra pounds I put on during my recovery process.

I would be lying if I said that nothing changed on how I viewed things because a little did in relation to dance. The times I would go to class I was able to really listen to my instructors and really get a clear understanding on their study of dance. It was such an amazing experience being able to sit, watch and listen. It is something that majority of dancers never get to do and I believe it is too great of an experience not to give it a chance, except of course not the getting injured part.

Anyways getting this opportunity to observe in class really helped me when I started to take class again. It wasn't easy; it took me about 3-4 weeks until I was able to do big jumps again. I had to work small and work my way back up. But while doing so I was able to apply what I learned by observing to my training. I was working in a new way. I was more aware of my body and my alignment. I found it very crazy to think that in order for myself to experience this, I needed to get injured. And I really do think there’s a difference in my dancing this year and in my studies of dance. Not only because I felt it, which can be misleading because you don’t always look the way you feel, but also because I received complements on my dancing and growth by fellow classmates.